If not now, never.

looming large

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 04:05:44 GMT

what exactly would "giving up my authority" entail

truly surprised that my "stern" suggestion was taken as commandment rather than play, but
was it truly surprising
or was my surprise an artifact of my habitual obliviousness

trying to divest since '75 or so

Aries

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:40:01 GMT

Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Diane, your attempts to hold everything together may be futile today, for it becomes more challenging each time you succeed. It's like playing a video game; you complete one level and are then given a more complex one to solve. It may be time for a radical new strategy. Instead of wasting all your energy on maintaining the illusion of control, just stop playing for a while. Giving up your authority may be the easiest thing you'll ever do.

not taxes

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 15:54:28 GMT

()

change or die
goes the old slogan

who wrote such stark copy
technical ignorant
brilliant manipulative

the operator implies
chimeric choice
change and die

would never sell the goods
spin is our one consolation

[(advert)]
[(Only Boole Knows)]
[change and death, neither remotely evitable]
[it's all spin: religion, politics; vision quest, walkabout/dreamtime; we all tell our stories; watch out when "I have no story" becomes the story of a significant portion of a population]
[Cory Doctorow in Little Brother: Nothing gets done if you do nothing.]

Titles

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 17:11:51 GMT

We're All in this Alone [RL softball team shirt]

Another Sort of Stranger [sentence fragment, "The Sky-green Blues", Tanith Lee

Faker 'n Dad's

What She Said

What He Said, Not So Much

Real life has almost stopped intruding

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:52:43 GMT

Aries Horoscope: Sunday, Dec 21, 2008
Diane, your role in the outer world becomes your main focus over the next month as the Sun visits your 10th House of Career. But you may not be eager to give up your freedom, even in a trade for success. Ultimately, you'll choose responsibility over independence, yet you might not be happy with your decision. Holding on to your annoyance or anger can create problems. If you express your negativity and then let it go, you should be able to avoid resentment later on.

Steven's home. From an ordeal that began 9/8/08, an ordeal which is not over, but has switched gears from acute to chronic.

First storm of the winter, Friday afternoon and today.

Solstice.

Maybe I'll celebrate by making snowflake shortbreads.

Blindsight blindsided

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 10:16:02 GMT

MED--

To clarify: I tried to answer Diane's questions as directly and as factually as I could yesterday afternoon, but in reality, I had few facts at my disposal. The point I was unable to articulate was not my perennial confusion between Adolescent Partial (which Gail N has assured me is only ever ad hoc) and Adolescent Residential, East House programs and Academic Center programs, Pathways/CNS/Arlington School, etc. Even though we couldn't identify the precise program those kids and parents were attending, we knew for certain they were non-COP. Nor was the point that legitimate COP patients conveniently weren't faced with a hard choice between confusion and noise inside and sweltering/wet/frigid weather outside. My point was that no one had the courtesy (not to mention the logistical foresight) to tell Theresa that these strangers need not register on her newly trained, newly sensitized check-in radar. A heads up could have prevented much fraying of nerves up and down the line.

It also occurs the me that in response to my inquiry earlier this week about an outstanding request form, Rich Falzone mentioned that he believed he completed it and put it in my COP mailbox, but that he would double check because he had been moved out of his office and might have lost track of it. The displacement of Dominique and Rich came up in a conversation I had with Jessica Goldstein on Wednesday, and she immediately wondered if she'd have a space for her group that afternoon. Yesterday, when I asked her how it went, she said that Cynthia Kaplan allowed her use of the room, given that there "was no notice."

When you and I spoke about COP groups yesterday afternoon, it didn't occur to me to reiterate that groups comprise, like, 80% of COP activitys(since psychopharm is suppressed and indiv/family tx is limited). As I tried to express, the point is not that Rich colonized that office but that, for the bulk of our COP patients, that room represents a safe space for meeting and for healing. Carryl's (inactive) group on Monday, Rich and Amy and Boaz groups on Tuesday, Jessica group on Wednesday (I don't even know when/where they hold either of the parent support groups), and Rich and Amy groups again on Thursday constitute the heart of Child Outpatient. To have deduced by accident that last week was the last week it belonged to COP is appalling.

As for LEC, there is no way they can operate out of one office. The team would need a minimum of two, just to accommodate the separate parent interview during one of the child's testing blocks. The white building might have held LEC and administrative staff. It will not suffice for COP alone, much less COP plus LEC plus admin.

Thanks for listening...
--DMP

Fakin' It

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 11:19:09 GMT

Aries Horoscopes
(Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Yesterday | Today | Tomorrow

Friday, Aug 8th, 2008 -- Your key planet Mars can trick you into feeling lost today, for it is receiving broadcasts from other dimensions as it aspects fuzzy Neptune. You may still be on edge from a strange relationship twist that occurred yesterday, but you may not be as anxious now. Focusing your attention on specific activities at work is a great idea, but putting this into practice could be quite a challenge. Don't fake confidence if you aren't feeling it.

2nd House of Money

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:00:49 GMT

Aries Horoscopes
(Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Yesterday | Today | Tomorrow

Friday, Jul 25th, 2008 -- You are able to take a step back from the action today, so you can actually see where you are and what you have. The Moon's entry into your 2nd House of Money can quickly change the focus of your day from fulfilling your own psychological needs to taking care of more practical matters. Dealing with the simplest things now can be the most rewarding.

Get Your Complete Cosmic Profile -- It's

Find a Pace

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 11:34:37 GMT

Aries Horoscopes
(Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Yesterday | Today | Tomorrow

Thursday, Jul 17th, 2008 -- You can improve your chances of reaching your goals by being patient now. However, this doesn't mean that you can sit around doing nothing. Laziness is not the same as finding a pace that works and giving yourself more time to accomplish what you've set out to do. Remember, obstacles aren't meant to prevent your success; they only slow you down and show you where you must work harder.

Uncertain

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 23:38:02 GMT

Aries Horoscopes
(Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Yesterday | Today | Tomorrow

Tuesday, Jul 15th, 2008 -- Your actions can speak clearly today and your words speak louder than usual as your key planet, forceful Mars, pushes your thoughts out into the open. You may be self-conscious, for you might not have intended to say so much so fast. Even if you are uncertain about what to do next, don't look back and try to change what has already happened.

A Heao o' Trouble

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:31:38 GMT

Aries Horoscopes
(Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Yesterday | Today | Tomorrow

Monday, Jul 14th, 2008 -- Don't even try to control your feelings today; just let them flow wherever they will. On the other hand, remember that it isn't wise to express everything that you feel. Some emotions are not meant to be shared. You could get yourself into a heap of trouble by putting your wants and needs out in the open before thinking about the ramifications of your actions.

Friendly Approach

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 11:31:04 GMT

General Horoscope: Sunday, July 13, 2008
Hey everybody, our irrational emotions rule the first part of the day when the Moon is still in reactive Scorpio, but we may not express all that we feel. Even if we do share our inner process, the energy shifts dramatically when the Moon enters fiery Sagittarius at 11:49 am EDT. Withholding our intentions or desires no longer makes sense, for we are more assured now of a positive outcome if only we have the courage to let others know about our hopes and dreams.

Aries: Sunday, July 13, 2008
Diane, it may be hard for you to hold a grudge today, mostly because you fail to see how it could possibly benefit you. You are very capable of making others feel at ease, especially if you are not in an accusatory mode. Even if you meet a bit of resistance at first, others will likely soften under your friendly approach.

Aquarius: Sunday, July 13, 2008
Susan, even if you have responsibilities to shoulder this weekend, you may be freer to enjoy yourself and your friends later in the day. Don't worry too much about what others are expecting from you now. It's not your job to do what anyone else thinks you should do. Above all else, you need to remain true to yourself.

Pisces: Sunday, July 13, 2008
Nora, you may not have a chance today to zone out and let your imagination take you on a ride. Even if you are ready to escape, you might need to fulfill an obligation to a parent or to some other authority figure. Don't waste energy complaining about what cannot be changed. Instead, just do what is required early enough in the day so you have sufficient time later to activate your dreaming mechanisms.

Just Stay Present

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 16:45:08 GMT

This is yesterday's:

Aries Horoscope: Friday, July 11, 2008
Diane, when you stay still long enough to delve beneath the surface, emotional issues can take on a life of their own. You don't normally go out of your way to find these places where you feel vulnerable because you would rather deal with problems you can solve quickly. There's nothing you need to do to fix anything now; just stay present with your dilemma.

I don't know where to start.

General Horoscope: Saturday, July 12, 2008
Hey everybody, although the Moon remains in secretive Scorpio today, sweet Venus struts into proud Leo, remaining in the sign of the roaring Lion until August 6. We are inclined now to ask for what we want, or maybe even demand it, because we assume that we're entitled. But the Sun's hard semisquare to austere Saturn could keep the lid on Pandora's Box for another day or so, unless we are willing to be methodical about expressing exactly what's in our hearts.

Aries: Saturday, July 12, 2008
Diane, something perks you up today because you believe that you might just get what you want. You've been restrained by previous commitments, so it's been challenging to get excited about upcoming events. Now, however, you turn a corner as Venus enters your 5th House of Love, so let yourself be more hopeful about receiving the pleasure that you seek.

Aquarius: Saturday, July 12, 2008
Susan, if someone around you seems to be having a lot of fun now, this may be a reminder that you, too, are allowed to enjoy yourself. Perhaps you were required to limit your time off as you did what was expected of you. Today, however, the energy shifts as lovely Venus enters your 7th House of Companions. Make a phone call and schedule a play date with someone you admire.

Pisces: Saturday, July 12, 2008
Nora, don't try to escape today from a previous commitment. Of course, changing your plans at the last minute isn't fair to anyone else, but it also won't feel good to you. If you want to enjoy yourself now, you'll need to serve others before serving yourself. Surprisingly, you might end up preferring to help someone else even more than fulfilling your own needs.

Little Bit Behind

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:21:23 GMT

General Horoscope: Monday, July 07, 2008
Hey everyone, we may be less sure of ourselves as yesterday's enthusiasm begins to wane. If we went overboard, we might be somewhat shy or even embarrassed now as friendly Venus forms an irritating quincunx with nebulous Neptune. Fortunately, the analytical Virgo Moon comes to our aid, helping us to get a practical sense of what's really happening. Still, we can err on the side of fearful caution as we move toward Thursday's frustrating Mars-Saturn conjunction.

Aries: Monday, July 7, 2008
Diane, you have a lot of responsibilities at work these days yet you may not want to tackle them head-on. You'd rather make plans today than actually execute them because you may be fearful that your actions won't be as effective as you wish. Although you probably can't take the day off, give yourself permission to relax and fall a little bit behind schedule.

Aquarius: Monday, July 7, 2008
Susan, you may be feeling a bit let down today, as you might after a big party. Your first inclination is to fill in the gap with some additional excitement, but upon further analysis you realize you might prefer peace and quiet at this time. Still, you probably won't get what you expect now, so remain flexible and try to be satisfied with whatever may happen.

Pisces: Monday, July 7, 2008
Nora, be careful not to set up a situation where your boss or another authority figure becomes angry with you. It might appear as if others are trying to prevent you from being productive yet it could be something you did that puts these restrictive wheels in motion. Fighting the resistance externally might be fruitless now; instead, just polish your act and try again when circumstances allow.

Lazy or Entitled

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 01:10:47 GMT

General Horoscope: Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Hey everyone, the Moon enters cautious Cancer at 3:52 am EDT to remind us of the deep power contained in our feelings. The Moon is at home in the sign of Cancer; our insecurities seem safe as long as we keep them hidden behind the Crab's outer shell. The New Moon at 10:19 pm EDT marks the completion of one emotional cycle as the next one begins. Fortunately, a delicious Venus-Jupiter opposition feeds our senses, bringing pleasure, but we may not know when to stop.

Aries: Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Diane, you may not want to go out of your way in order to have a good time today, but you want to enjoy yourself nonetheless. The New Moon activates your private 4th House, so whether you are feeling lazy or entitled, you are willing to wait patiently until the fun finds you. Luckily your patience with probably pay off now, so don't exert yourself too much.

Aquarius: Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Susan, you don't want anyone questioning your ability to do your job and if your capability is being challenged now, you might just retreat into your shell. It's not that you are timid; it's just that you don't want to waste time and energy defending yourself when you could be finishing your chores and then going off to play. Avoiding emotional drama for a day or two may be the easiest way to get through any current awkwardness.

Pisces: Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Nora, even if you must work today, in your mind it's a play day. The bad news is that you'll still have to perform your regular duties. The good news, however, is that you should be able to make time for the fun and games you seek. But don't wait until you are finished with your job. Incorporate spontaneity and gaiety into the chores of the day.

Distractions

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 10:39:06 GMT

General Horoscope: Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Hey everybody, although the restless Gemini Moon scatters our energy and shortens our attention span, assertive Mars declares that the party is over as it leaves lively Leo today. The warrior planet enters analytical Virgo now, where it remains until August 19, sharpening our minds instead of our swords. Mental Mercury is the key planet for Gemini and Virgo, so Mercury's uncomfortable quincunx with giant Jupiter can overload us with enormous amounts of information.

Aries: Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Diane, a shift in your daily patterns is in the making as Mars enters your 6th House of Routine, prompting you to improve your overall efficiency. One way to do this is to limit the amount of distractions in your immediate environment. Although this may be difficult today, your current intentions set the stage for you to follow through with specific actions over the days ahead.

Aquarius: Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Susan, it can be somewhat discomforting when Mars enters your 8th House of Intimacy, for you are naturally more at ease with casual interactions. It's not that you are adverse to an emotional connection; it's just that you also like your intellectual elbowroom so you are free to roam mentally. Keep in mind that giving up a bit of freedom now can teach you volumes about your connection with others.

Pisces: Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Nora, increased activity in your environment can lure you deeper into a relationship with an existing partner or a new friend. But all is not simple, for you can already see the roadblocks ahead. There's no need to rush forward; the fast track won't be as stable as a slower and cooler approach. Take your time or you'll need to slam on the brakes in just a few days.

Emotionally Intense

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 11:45:49 GMT

General Horoscope: Monday, June 30, 2008
Hey everyone, the paradoxes of life seem closer today as we simultaneously lighten up while also feeling serious. The Moon's entry into witty Gemini at 4:02 am EDT allows us to cleverly flit from one fascinating conversation to the next, without investing in any. But assertive Mars is Pluto-powered now, supported by a harmonious trine that urges us to dig beneath the surface noise so we can experience more intense passions that aren't always this accessible.

Aries: Monday, June 30, 2008
Diane, your key planet Mars can force you into some emotionally intense places today, for you know that time is running out. It's the very last day of Mars' visit to fiery Leo and you want to squeeze every last drop of excitement out of a pleasant experience. Just remember that your good intentions can backfire if you push too hard, so try a gentler approach if anyone's feathers seem ruffled.

Aquarius: Monday, June 30, 2008
Susan, it's refreshing when you feel creative and a playful approach seems to make you more productive. But your easygoing attitude today can be deceptive. Although you can skillfully disarm someone else's aggression, you are still ready for serious business at a moment's notice. Use your ability to shift between the extremes -- lighthearted and heavy-handed -- to take command of a situation at just the right moment.

Pisces: Monday, June 30, 2008
Nora, you may sense that someone in your life could turn into more of a problem for you in the days ahead. An attempt now to nip the situation in the bud could be effective, but not if you try to suppress the natural expression of anger or fear. If you really want to handle the situation, draw the other person out and let them share his or her story. At least then you'll be able to deal with it in the open.

Pent-up

Sun, 29 Jun 2008 12:16:24 GMT

General Horoscope: Sunday, June 29, 2008
Hey everyone, the Moon is in the fixed sign of determined Taurus, tempting us to be stubborn if we think that anyone is pushing us too hard. We may be resistant to change, even if it's for our own good. It doesn't matter if our friends give us sound advice; we still can mistakenly believe that we each know what is best. Meanwhile a tense semisquare between the lovers, Venus and Mars, can precipitate a lover's quarrel and the subsequent sweetness of making up.

Aries: Sunday, June 29, 2008
Diane, being sure of yourself is one thing, but it's really not in your best interest to pick a fight with someone just because you know you'll win. If you're bored enough to consider stirring up some trouble, find a more creative outlet for your pent-up aggression. Don't take your frustrations out on anyone else.

Aquarius: Sunday, June 29, 2008
Susan, you might find yourself in an argument with a family member today. It's clear to you that the fault is with others, for you aren't interested in fighting about anything now. Nevertheless, on closer examination you realize that your intolerance can force others into a position that is more rigid than their initial stance. Even your body language can help change things. Practicing flexibility will allow everyone else to be more at ease, too.

Pisces: Sunday, June 29, 2008
Nora, it may feel as if there's movement just outside of your reach. Someone in your life is changing and you cannot stop the process, even if it worries you. Exercising control over something within your sphere of influence may be more about showing off your power than doing anything of real significance. Instead of wasting your mind power on trivial matters, save your energy for when you need it later on in the week.

A Gentler World

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:14:47 GMT

General Horoscope: Saturday, June 28, 2008
Hey everybody, soothing ripples of energy resonate with pleasing tones as the Moon enters sensual Taurus at 2:49 am EDT. The inconstant Moon is put at ease by the steady pace of the bovine Taurus energy. The prospects of change are not as frightening now, yet we also seem to be more capable of resisting it. Still, Taurus' key planet Venus moves toward an uncomfortable semisquare with Mars, suggesting that resolving tensions may be more pleasant than avoiding them.

Aries: Saturday, June 28, 2008
Diane, just as you were getting accustomed to the hectic pace, everything changes. You wake up in a quieter and gentler world today -- and it's not just because it's the weekend. Instead of charging ahead, think about taking some time off and doing absolutely nothing at all. It might sound boring, but it might be just what you need.

Aquarius: Saturday, June 28, 2008
Susan, you may be somewhat agitated throughout the day for no specific reason at all. Sure, you'll be able to rationalize your feelings, but it's more important to move beyond your stuck energy than to demonstrate a reason for your negativity. Being right is more important to your ego than being happy, yet the power to turn your day into a more positive one resides within you.

Pisces: Saturday, June 28, 2008
Nora, if you imagined dreaming your way through a relaxed and free-floating day, then you may be in for a disappointment. However, the structure of commitments or appointments could also give you a much-needed sense of security, for you won't have to waste energy on trying to figure out what to do next. Don't fight the inevitable; just show up on schedule and enjoy yourself the best you can.

Thinking about catching a double feature matinee of Crystal Skull and Wanted this weekend.

Applecart

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 11:19:17 GMT

General Horoscope: Friday, June 27, 2008
Hey everyone, the pioneering Aries Moon continues to push us into new places. We are eager to respond quickly to an event in anticipation of potential excitement, without considering the practical consequences of our actions. Meanwhile, a complex septile between the Sun and physical Mars can bring forth an unexpected surprise. Although we are prone toward taking action first and thinking about it second, we would be wiser today to reverse this order.

Aries: Friday, June 27, 2008
Diane, the intensity of your feelings builds throughout the day, moving you to express yourself in a creative way. Fortunately, your self-assuredness allows you to be more experimental in your search to be independent. But beware; you could take it too far and upset the very applecart upon which you are riding.

Aquarius: Friday, June 27, 2008
Susan, you have the intensity of fire in your eyes now and the strength of your conviction can actually be scary to someone close to you. Although you don't necessarily feel angry, it's apparent that you will fight for what you want. If others seem confused by your intentions, assure them that you mean no harm and that you are just very passionate about what you know. Then, take a deep breath and tell your story.

Pisces: Friday, June 27, 2008
Nora, you know that something is about to change, but you cannot yet tell what it is. In the meantime, your emotions are ragged; you are on edge today because you don't know how to express what you are feeling. Instead of relying on words now, remember that your actions speak loud and clear. You can always explain yourself afterward, if necessary.

A Practical Plan

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:17:58 GMT

General Horoscope: Thursday, June 26, 2008
Hey everyone, today's impulsive Aries Moon encourages us to say "yes" and to just do it, whatever it may be. But a deeper note sounds from a long lasting sesquisquare between the regulators, expansive Jupiter and restrictive Saturn. The tension between the planets of too much and not enough adds uncertainty to a sure thing. Meanwhile, Uranus the Awakener turns retrograde today, reminding us that true freedom is found within and isn't limited to external conditions.

Aries: Thursday, June 26, 2008
Diane, you can get into serious trouble today if you don't pay attention to your energy level. It doesn't matter that you want to do it all; you can't. So figure out how to balance your enthusiasm with what time you have available and make sensible choices. A practical plan can prevent an unpleasant headache later in the day.

Aquarius: Thursday, June 26, 2008
Susan, anything that's new and different will likely seem like a better idea now than the same old thing because you are seeking escape from your routines. But your rebellious planet Uranus turns retrograde today, so you may stop short of going over the edge. If you resist, you'll probably wish that you'd let go of control. But if you surrender to your whims you might wish you didn't. Whatever you choose, accept your decision as the best choice you could make at that time.

Pisces: Thursday, June 26, 2008
Nora, building on what you already started is easier now, but it can be hard to find the right pace to sustain your efforts. You are both the hare and the tortoise today, first jumping ahead and then slowing down, only to speed up again. Although your uneven work rhythm can be annoying to your co-workers, it's likely the best way for you to maximize your energy. Worry less about what others think than about how much you can accomplish.

MED told me after the COP Leadership mtg that Marco wants to give notice. He told her he feels humiliated by Check-in staff every day. Later that afternoon, I had to cover the window [yes, the Check-in Window] while she took JLF and JLD into Noelle's office for a 3-way tete-a-tete. Afterwards, she made the announcement to the office as a whole, but by then, of course, it was only news to JAB, and to PFS.

A Pure Heart

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:42:12 GMT

General Horoscope: Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Hey everyone, the compassionate inclination of today's Pisces Moon grows with the tension of a Venus-Neptune sesquisquare. Venus, the planet of personal love, is in nurturing Cancer. Neptune, the planet of cosmic love, is in intelligent Aquarius. Although we want to respond positively, we can feel the conflict between what attracts us and what we know is best for all involved. The Moon slips into spontaneous Aries at 10:47 pm EDT, provoking us to make a choice.

Aries: Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Diane, the symbols that have been floating around in your dreams may actually take shape in your life today. Although this may be wonderful, it can also complicate your life when your fantasies become real. No matter what, don't fall prey to your own fears, for they can sour the sweetest situation. There's no need to prove anything to anyone. Just show up with a pure heart.

Aquarius: Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Susan, you may be confused if someone at work avoids you today, but you really shouldn't take it personally. Chances are he or she is feeling a bit shy or vulnerable now and needs to withdraw emotionally to create safe space. Don't pursue others who aren't eager to interact. Just let them be who they are without any heavy judgments or expectations from you.

Pisces: Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Nora, expressing what's in your heart isn't always easy for you, but today you might take a risk and put it out there. The response may not be exactly what you expect, though, for others may be threatened by your disclosure. Saying too much could reveal things they don't want to know. Remember, just because you feel something, that doesn't mean you need to share it. Pay close attention to your audience's reaction before you go too far.

Ambition

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 12:17:20 GMT

General Horoscope: Monday, June 23, 2008
Hey everybody, the smart Aquarius Moon sharpens our perspective, but we may still be confused by the lingering effects of the Mars-Neptune opposition. Our fantasies receive a boost of energy when the Moon enters imaginative Pisces at 5:33 pm EDT. But we won't have to wait until then to feel the magic that's afoot, for Mercury, Mars and Jupiter mark three points on a cosmic 5-pointed star, lifting our spirits and giving us hope in our ability to make creative change.

Aries: Monday, June 23, 2008
Diane, your ambition is rewarded now, yet the good news you receive may not have an obvious relationship to what you are currently doing. Doors that normally remain shut are opening and opportunities are being offered to you. Although you are willing and eager, it will still require hard work on your part once you say "yes."

Pisces: Monday, June 23, 2008
Nora, even if romantic love eludes you today, make time to acknowledge the amazing people in your life. You are richer in spirit because of those special folks who took the time to teach you something crucial when you needed it most. Now it's your turn to return the favor by thanking your friends and going out of your way to impart a bit of your wisdom to someone else.

Elmira Quest: Thursday 6/12/08 - Tuesday, 6/17/08

Thu: After lazing about on Wed, I got out of bed close to 6am to do enough laundry to give me something to pack, and to pick up the house enough so nothing would be rotted or otherwise putrid when I got back. Rin called around 11am, apologized for not calling the previous evening as promised, and aplogized further for deputizing Dan to come and get me. Dan wasn't even home from work yet. I still don't know if his half day was planned or ... induced. Dan arrived very close to 5pm, looking quite shaken. Spent. Drained. He requested a few minutes to sit and recover before heading back. After checking whether he needed food or drink or the facilities, I let him sit silently in the rocking chair, while I stretched out here at the desk. I was just starting to doze off when I felt him looming silently in the archway, staring at me. He turnd off the ceiling fan for me, loaded my three bags in the car and waited for me to lock the back door from the inside and trundle around from the front. then we were off. He went east on Trapelo for a couple of miles before asking if he was going "Rin's way." After determining that she had actually coached him to come up 95 North to exit 28, we got turned around and headed back west to reverse his incoming path. Traffic was heavy. I learned, "Breakdown lane travel permitted weekdays 6a-10a and 3p-7p." Dan called Rin via cel, and she asked us to pick up steak to grill for supper. I told Dan I was having a crisis of guilt, having him haul me from Boston to Providence and cook dinner for me besieds. If he wanted to grill, I would cut up a fruit salad. If he didn't want to grill, I would take us out to dinner at Chester's, sort of as a belated anniversary dinner, no prep, no clean up, his call. He sat in Stop 'n Shop parking lot and agreed to go to Chester's and he let Rin know. He granted my request to find an ATM. I withdrew cash for myself, then gave him another $100 for gas for the trip. We got to the house around 7:30p. Dan called the restaurant to discover that they would be seating for dinner until 9:00p. Rin asked him to shave and change his shirt, then told us she wanted to change her top as well. She came out to the car in a skirt and sweater, heels and perfume. At Chester's we placed our orders, then Rin started talking about needing to reach the dog-sitter she had lined up to look in on Dewey the following afternoon before the woman who was scheduled to stay the weekend with him got there from work. Dan and I both suggested it would be after 10:00pm by the time we got home, much too late to be calling people, and that Rin should make the call while we were waiting for the appetizer. Reluctantly, (she said the word "scared") Rin went back to the car to find a pen, and call 411, and try to reach this person. After about 15 minutes, and after inhaling our shares of the portabella, spinach, roasted pepper and mozzerella app, Dan couldn't contain his anxiety any longer and went to look for her. About 8 minutes later, they came back together, reporting success. We finished dinner, with Rin rejecting her own veal in a Sambuca-and-something reduction sauce (I learned Sambuca is licorice-flavored; bleah) for Dan's fried calamari and my Chester's Special breaded chicken and eggplant. I tried an "international coffee" with a shot of something or other and of butterscotch schnapps, with whipped cream and a cherry. I ate the wizened maraschino and took two sips of the so-called coffee, then let Rin finish it, since she'd already started in on the whipped cream. We decided to skip dessert altogether, ie not stop for ice cream on the way home. Got back to the house. Dan crashed. I waited for Rin to clear the guest bed (I had already been upstairs earlier to view the quilting supplies, fabric and batting piled on both beds), then crashed myself.

Fri: Awoke with the birds before dawn, peed, went back to sleep for a while to stay out of the way of general and miscellaneous bustling. Arose around 7:00, washed up, packed up, stripped the bed and waited in the living room for our agreed-upon 10:30 departure. Rin went for a 9:00 hair cut at 9:30. Dan went to retreive a truckload of firewood. Rin got back in emormous soup can curls and resumed bustling. I got to dry the dishes with paper towels, then put them away, then pack up the loaf of quick bread, then wash and dry the new dirty dishes. Close to noon, I found a seat in the shade of the very fragrant [wegalia] bush and more or less happily watched bees, birds and butterflies until Rin and Dan announced their readiness at 12:30, after a full 7-hr day already. Kathy drove past just as Dan pulled out. [CT DD fiasco.] Chickadee Manor, Feather Hill, The Vanilla Bean. Rest stop after Waterbury, with chickpea burgers at a shaded picnic table. Really not much to tell when you're in the car for upwards of 11 hrs. Right after the rest stop, started listening to a CD of Airborn, a 2004 award winning children's novel by Kenneth Oppel. Rt 84 was a disaster at Hartford. Rt 52 detour from ----- to Fishkill began almost right in front of us. Rin wanted to get off at the exit up ahead, but after a grueling 45 minutes, we caould see that all traffic was being directed to exit. After another grueling hour, a Wal-Mart truck driver got down during one of the zillion stand-stills and actually came up the the driver's side of the car to tell Dan to "stick close" to the double trailer in front of us (so nobody else could cut in line) and he would lead up right back to 84. Sweezie waited hours for us in the Roscoe Diner parking lot. I was so happy to switch vehicles after supper [which took longer than it should have], to feel the wind in my hair (Rin made us keep the car windows closed so her curls wouldn't collapse, but A/C strong enough to reach the back seat made Dan's teeth chatter and his feet numb, so Dia was SOL). The 'vertible ride on 17 went smoothly (one stop for Rin to pee), but I had a hard time reading the directions in the dark once we reached our exit. [Church St DD fiasco] Finally found Lindenwald Haus at the ass end of town, barely before midnight. Karen and Matt and Jacob and Benjamin were long since there. Sara was furious, but stiffly gracious, waiting to light the path and let us in the back door. Took us up in the elevator, seemed surprised about the room switch despite my email of the previous day. Sweeze and I had the only A/C, which Susan categorically refuses to tolerate. [Wait, I can't hear you. I have to turn off the fan.] Tossed and turned and sweltered all night. Poured out my "coffee", untasted, the next morning. I don't know what that sludge filling half the cup was, but I'm sure I'm better off not ingesting any.

Sat: B&Breakfast; Cicero jaunt; funeral; cemetary; church supper; JumperI showered first and wandered out to the front porch with my "Exhale" journal, after telling Sweeze I'd be "around." Got anxious after about 20 minutes, and wandered through to the back porch. Met Sara on the way and saw where the office was. Flahze found me after a few more minutes, then Sweezie came out, having made an entire circuit of the building while I was moving between porches. The three of us had a nice chat and itinerary conference, then repaired to the dining room around 8:15 or so. Sipped coffee and OJ as Karen and I purchased raffle tix from La Souce while we waited for breakfast (a whole pan of pecan rolls swimming in buttery sugary glaze, then plates of french toast with hash browns, sausage and bacon). Soucie wanted to get an early start to hand in her tix at the quilt show in Cicero (102 miles each way) before the 3pm funeral. For some reason, nobody wanted to go with her, so it defaulted to me. I was happy not to have to jitter around all day, of course. It was overcast during the drive, but didn't rain until right as we were getting back to Elmira at 2:30pm. We took 13 to 81, and noticed that a lot of the scenery was familiar from childhood trips to O'Haven. Beautiful ride. Lost 13 in Dryden and had to backtrack a bit. Got to the enormous car showroom complex where the Consortium Quilt Show was being held and Susan ran in while I stayed in the car, then we got back on the road immediately. Good thing, otherwise we would have been late for the funeral. Ah, the funeral. Susan and I blew in at LH in a soaking downpour. We'd outrun the rain drops da-- near the who;e way up and back, but had to pull over on the exit ramp to put the top up so we could cross town without foundering. When we got to the Haus, though, we didn't have time to wait out the squall and had to hike up to the back door through the waterfall in order to get changed and go. Which we did. Even Rin was rady on time. Miraculously, the downpour eased off as everyone, dressed in their Sunday best (except me: black knit skirt and black tee with black ankle socks inside my regular black sneakers--I didn't have time to hunt down and dig out my shoes), trooped out to their vehicles. Even toweled off, my hair was still wet, and looked limp and greasy. Susan's wet curls looked stylish and intentional. Matt led, Rin followed, we brought up the rear. And, whaddaya know, Webb Mills Church was in Webb Mills, PA. Miraculously, Steven (with Colin driving, to our consternation) pulled in just as the rest of us were parking. Nearly everyone was standing around in the parking lot, and the first one over to me was Aunt Kathy, looking exactly the same, then Mom's cousin Mary, ditto. They both looked closely in my face, and I realized they were expecting to see signs of grief in my eyes. I slid my glance away: 5 weeks after the fact, and in public (the bosom of my family?) to boot, no way was I going to cry. And I couldn't bring myself to fake crocodile tears. Then I went to hug Uncle Bob, and it's gets a little fuzzy after that, because Uncle Jerry was snapping pictures of me and whoever I was greeting, and I felt instantly defensive and overwhelmed. I went up to Annette (who didn't introduce the woman standing next to her, who turned out to be her sister-in-law, Laura) and Mickey, then hugged Elisabeth and Abby. Maybe Aunt Sue was there, too, but just then I saw Uncle Jerry leading Aunt Carrie from the direction of the steps and went to meet them half way. The Flahze swooped in to act as buffer, and Carrie hugged her and spoke with her, and sort of turned her shoulder to me. Which solved that little awkwardness for me. Just as I glimpsed Geoff in the mix, Uncle Bob started ushering us toward the fron steps. At the back of the sanctuary, he arranged his kids and Carrie and Jerry over on the left, so Karen and Matt and the two boys sat in the second row on the right, with me and Steven and Colin behind them, and Dan, Rin and Susan behind us. The service was execrable. I left the bulletin in passenger door of Susan's car, so I don't have the preacher's name, but he sucked swamp water. Gram would have been openly critical and silently contemptuous and furious. The first hymn was okay, the second was stupid, and the third was "Amazing Grace" without verses 4 and 5. Susan cried, but I remained dry-eyed. Steven was my shield, and soaked up a lot of radiation from a seriously over-heated Beets (four convertible hours plus 1 hour of extraordinary stress and effort), as well as deflecting many incoming vibes. Uncle Bob spoke first, giving Gram's genesis story, Carrie spoke next giving a list of Gram's likes (gee, I wonder where she got that idea) and dislikes (causing us to label ourselves "sassy children" at every subsequent opportunity that day and the next), and Uncle Jerry spoke last, mourning the schizm between Geoff and "the Poirier kids" more than Gram. Finally, after a confused and blessedly brief homily, it was over. Most of those gathered went to the Jobs Corners cemetary (we got there last because Matty logically followed the road, instead of intuitively crossing the intersection) and saw Gram's small headstone with its single engraved rose. I toddled back to the car after the prayer and blessing, inadvertently forcing Aunt Jessie to follow on her son's arm. Geoff came up as well to ask how I was and took my slight snarky response pretty well in stride. Then we all went back to the church for a very low-brow church supper. Edah tapped me on the shoulder while I was in the food line, and Annette tried to get me to talk about my brain surgeries, but I got shy and tongue-tied. We colonized one of the inner tables, and Uncle Bob brought his plate over to sit with us. Malcolm brought William and Sam, and Karen and Jacob (who wore his rainbow necklace proudly) and Benjamin spent much time with the Campbell clan (Steven called her Betsy and Susan called her Elisabeth, marking how current (or not) each was in the cousin scene). I finally realized that the towering young man was our cousin Andrew, fresh from receiving his PhD in TX. He looks like a perfect blend of Kath and Jon, only way tall. 6'6" at least. Geoff wife (Susanne?) and daughter, Cheyenne, stayed strictly away from our table. At one point, Uncle Bob leaned back and spoke to me (mock mock severely) past the backs of Susan and Dan (I think), "I was waiting for your email, Diane." I replied, "I know, Unc. I felt your waiting silence." Colin schmoozed with Jacob. Mary stood at the end of our table and regaled us with hysterical historical anecdotes about Charles and Roland. Church ladies passed out brownies topped with vanilla ice cream, then started clearing the tables very shortly. I was joined at the Gram collage up front by Steven and Karen and Susan, and eventually Aunt Carrie, who really only wanted to take it down. She and Uncle Jerry both had stopped by our table, but their visits were mercifully brief: I think other were running interference for us. Aunt Jessie sweetly but firmly ordered me to correspond and her bit--y daughter-in-law (Bill's wife Lorraine? Letitia?) gave me their email so my notes could be printed out and given "more easily" to Jessie. I didn't get that. Uncle Jerry accosted me at the door, demanding that I email him. Uncle Bob hugged me goodbye and agreed to give my love to Janice and Antonia, still in London. Finally out of the basement, back in the parking lot, it had started to rain again (it had poured intermitently during the service, but stayed clear at the cemetary). The last few of us stood in a line under the eaves and Geoff came over for one last try. I was a little more gracious to him, but did make him feel my craniotomy scar. My hips and knees were screaming, and the earlier sun exposure was still making itself felt, so I went over to Susan's car to sit with the door open. Malcolm took pity on poor outcast impaired me and came over to chat. I couldn't endure too much indiv time with him, so I moved back across to the lineup as people continued to trickle away. Finally, with assurances of seeing them tomorrow, Colin and Steven pulled out, which gave the stisters tacit permission to get in their cars and head back to LH. Susan told me that Elisabeth and Abby were staying, to her total surprise, at O'Haven. I barely responded, being too overwhelmed.

Sun: B&Breakfast; Coudersport; Turtlepoint; Olean; OLR dinner; The Happening; OL B&B

Mon: B&Breakfast; Murray-and-Susan from NYC; Carl-[dau]-from-FL, w/ Goober [aka Maurice, aka stupid stupid tee]; Ender's Game; P&J; Ulster Park

Tue: #243 Breakfast; more Card; Kingston bus station in time for the 2:20 to Albany; Albany bus station well in time for the 4:30 to Boston; Newton Riverside magic taxi; there's no place like home...

The Fog Lifts

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 17:01:35 GMT

Aries Horoscope: Sunday, Jun 22, 2008
Diane, you can see more clearly now as the fog lifts, but you might not like everything you learn today. Nevertheless, knowing the truth is better than being kept in the dark. Once you have the complete picture, then you can deal with those things that still need work. Don't be afraid to rely on your friends for support when you need it.

Fire Up

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:17:51 GMT

Aries Horoscopes
(Mar 21 - Apr 19)
Yesterday | Today | Tomorrow

Thursday, Jun 19th, 2008 -- Watch your temper today, for you may fire up a salvo of anger before you even realize that something is wrong. Your emotions can sneak up on you suddenly, especially if you are trying to avoid them. The intensity with which they express can surprise everyone, even you. Look before you leap to save yourself from having to clean up an unnecessary mess.